Remember there is nothing that can replace the physical love and support of a partner.
The nature of a doula and the partner illustrate two very different roles, individually essential and when coupled together the true benefits are revealed. The doula will know when to step forward and when to step back giving the couple their space and reminding him that he knows exactly what to do.
It is difficult to see the person you love experience any kind of pain, even if it is beneficial. A dad may be alarmed by the natural processes and reactions during birth, wanting to know how he can fix things. The doula, armed with an intensive training, experience and instinctive knowledge will see the signs and know what support is needed and where it is to be applied. Because it is so important for this woman to feel encouraged and empowered through every contraction, the doula’s calming nature and objectivity gives her the ability to ease the dad’s concerns; bridging the love of a partner and the uncertainty of the birthing woman.
It is expected yet impossible for the modern father (to-be) to know everything about pregnancy, birth, hospital protocols etc… after just four childbirth education classes and a generic book on what to expect when expecting! Moreover, he is expected to be the sole support for the mom and have an ability to read her needs based on the emotional and physical signs of labor. This is a huge job with an overwhelming amount of pressure attached. Having a doula allows the dad to take a nap, get something to eat, take a walk, all the while knowing that his partner is in hands of the doula; the hands of a “woman who serves”.
Birth is incredibly complex; with many layers and emotions that are shifting moment to moment. It takes patience, love and a willingness to surrender. Your doula is there to take on any responsibility that is presented to her as she supports the whole family and protects their sacred space.