All to often physicians fail to understand what women really need when they express fear of giving birth. Because women today doubt their natural capacity to have a normal birth and healthy baby, what they need most is reassurance- not reassurance that everything can be done will be done for her and the baby, but reassurance that her body and her baby know what to do during a process that nature has designed for success. Still, fear does have its place. As a physician aptly puts it:
“I don’t think women are as ignorant of their bodies as we doctors make them out to be. They can, however, be scared out of percieving what’s going on inside. But I don’t know of one instance in my practice where the need to do something wasn’t clear to the woman long before it became clear to me”
The danger of focusing on fear is that by doing so we perpetuate it and increase its strength.
Be hospitable to an unwelcome emotion, as if it were an unexpected guest. Offer it a cup of tea. Greet it kindly and see if you can learn something useful, say “Thank you” and send it on its way. Above all, do not invite it to share your supper and offer it a bed in your house for the night or you will have a difficult time getting it to leave- Buddhist saying